Free GYM #10 - East Dulwich Leisure Centre - Yummy Mummy Land

This £6.5 million gym has just opened and is already courting controversy. Butch men are complaining that gym bosses are sidelining them because the free weights are too light [only up to 20kg], catering for the droves of (obviously weakling) yummy mummy types who live in East Dulwich. Such a fuss was kicked up that the local newspaper had it as its front cover story. Luckily, an advert in the same newspaper the week before had given me a free pass voucher – so I could see for myself...happy in the knowledge that 20kg was quite enough for me (for now).

Located on the site of an old swimming pool, this gym is encircled by a full length balcony, complete with old ornate benches where people used to watch the swimmers below. The water is now replaced by a sea of shining equipment with my favourite running machines ever. The new ‘Fitness Life’ machines had big screens with the novelty of an attractive virtual female trainer egging you on. ‘C’mon’ she cheerfully said, ‘Only 500 metres to go!’

As I was enjoying my delightful virtual trainer, I noticed a man check out the blonde on the cycling machine next to him and nonchalantly move to an identical cycling machine behind her – eyes fixed greedily on her ass.

What better motivation than that?