FREE GYM #12 - East Dulwich Gym - Saving fish, one row at a time

Row row row rowing machine
Works cardio like a dream...
If you see a massive fish,
Don't forget to...row faster?

While on the rowing machine, has anyone tried the 'fish game' where your little fish will get eaten by a big shark if you don't row fast enough? No? Try it! I love the rowing machine. It's perhaps my favourite gym machine. When I get tired of the fish game I usually use the 2000m function and try to beat my previous time (P.B 7.43 minutes at the moment).

The picture of me looking serious is actually me fighting for the life of my little fish, which always, by the way, dies in the end.

If you squint, you may realise I have a WaterAid t-shirt on, which is the whole point of this blog, so get clicking on the adverts to raise more money for charity.

£32.72 raised so far!!

This blog refers to day two of a free 7 day pass from East Dulwich Leisure Centre - see previous blog post for more information.

Free Gym #12 - East Dulwich - HEATWAVE

Despite being one of the hottest days recorded in October...EVER I didn't feel bad about wasting part of it in the gym (usually for me, the equivalent of going to a basement gym on a sunny day is like going on holiday and never leaving your hotel).

This is because, East Dulwich Leisure Centre, with its high glass ceiling, ample space and brilliant ventilation is about as outside as you are going to feel inside a gym.

Plus, I'm not one to miss an opportunity. It's open weekend across all London Fusion Gyms, including East Dulwich Leisure Centre. Not only can you get in free, but if your friend is a member, they can request a 7 day free pass for their family member or friend. Luckily, my girlfriend has just joined so now I have a weeks worth of a gym, right next to my house!

After the gym session, I walked to the park with the papers, nestled myself in a nice bed of Autumn leaves and had a nice sleep in the sun (apparently hotter today than the Sahara says the Mirror). I briefly regretted not making more of the weather and taking a trip to the beach...but a quick look at the congestion below makes me think that perhaps a simple trip to the local gym and park was the right decision!

Free Gym #11 - Monument - Working Out is better than Working In

Dropping my bag off at Fitness First Monument, I really couldn't bring myself to spend a minute more in this small, smelly, dingy gym than I had to. So, instead of running aimlessly inside on a conveyor belt for my warm  up, I took to the sunny, saline scented riverside walkway for my cardio, preferring to work 'out' rather than work  'in'.

Just a 10 minute run between London Bridge and Tower Bridge turned out to be the most enjoyable exercise of the day, taking a flying visit to historical sites I had never bothered to see before...

Warm up outside next time - you never know what you might find.

Free Gym #11 - Monument - Beware of the troll

Illustration by Misha Waterton - Property of Shmoo

Slap bang in the middle of London, this basement gym hides broodingly away in the underbelly of London Bridge. Ugly, smelly, dank and awkwardly proportioned, you may be forgiven in thinking that London Bridge has acquired a troll.

The designers of this gym have given the majority of space to three squash courts, sparingly allocating thin corridors for running, stretching and weights. As the whole gym is more or less open plan, don't be surprised to see a squash ball flying past your face while on the running machines in the mezzanine above.

The worst thing about Fitness First Monument could be the solitary mens toilet. I feel almost sorry for it...no toilet should take so much strain. But the best thing is certainly the view of the Thames that you get whilst on the running machines. [see image]. Looking out at the rain and an angry swollen river, you may feel happy to be inside. Even if it's in a troll.

Free five day voucher - courtesy of Voucher Cloud phone app.

Getting lost - London is my Gym

When you are feeling down, or have experienced a set-back, I recommend stepping into your trainers and going for a run. Don't plan it, don't time it, don't pace it; just - get - lost. I guarantee that after that, you'll find your way back again, and have seen a whole new perspective along the way.

Free GYM #10 - East Dulwich Leisure Centre - Yummy Mummy Land

This £6.5 million gym has just opened and is already courting controversy. Butch men are complaining that gym bosses are sidelining them because the free weights are too light [only up to 20kg], catering for the droves of (obviously weakling) yummy mummy types who live in East Dulwich. Such a fuss was kicked up that the local newspaper had it as its front cover story. Luckily, an advert in the same newspaper the week before had given me a free pass voucher – so I could see for myself...happy in the knowledge that 20kg was quite enough for me (for now).

Located on the site of an old swimming pool, this gym is encircled by a full length balcony, complete with old ornate benches where people used to watch the swimmers below. The water is now replaced by a sea of shining equipment with my favourite running machines ever. The new ‘Fitness Life’ machines had big screens with the novelty of an attractive virtual female trainer egging you on. ‘C’mon’ she cheerfully said, ‘Only 500 metres to go!’

As I was enjoying my delightful virtual trainer, I noticed a man check out the blonde on the cycling machine next to him and nonchalantly move to an identical cycling machine behind her – eyes fixed greedily on her ass.

What better motivation than that?

FREE GYM #9 - Pulse Fitness - New York

.

I admit it, I held a stereotype. I thought that all Americans were fat. This is simply not the case, well, not in New York anyway. People are very fit conscious here. There is a gym on every corner and you will always find a person powering through Central Park, Brooklyn Bridge or the many streets and avenues which criss cross the city. New Yorkers have truly adopted NYC as their gym.

As you can imagine, I had limited time for the gym. I had the whole of New York to see and a seminal US/UK conference on 'Stop & Search' to attend. In terms of sight seeing, I highly recommend the free Staten Island Ferry ride past the Statue of Liberty, the emotive African Burial Site, and the obscure MOMA PS1for its experimental modern art inside and the experimental graffiti outside which festoons the buildings around a colourful Queens neighbourhood.

However, I did manage one gym, courtesy of my good friend Hakim, which was perhaps the cheapest gym I will EVER come across. Yes, Pulse Fitness (Queens) had old equipment, yes it had crumbling walls, yes it was sticky and yes an old man kept yelling in Spanish at me but it was only $99 per year, including 24 hour access, 30,000 square foot of space, aerobic classes and a whole room full of boxing stuff. That works out at a crazy $8.25 [£5.16] per month.

C'mon, find a cheaper gym - I challenge you.

FREE GYM #8 - Virgin Active - Strand

Today, I'm proud to say that I'm no longer a Virgin Active Virgin. Despite coming away slightly sore and finishing way too soon, I enjoyed every minute of it and wanted more (innuendo intended).

This gym is certainly a step up in the world, boasting sleek and spacious studio rooms, a clean jacuzzi, an empty18m pool, a sauna, a steam room and a 'HeavenV' spa (I have no idea what this is - but I'm sure it's 'heavenly'.)

After a hard work out, the best way to relax, other than a 'HeavenV' massage, is a quick swim and a stretch in the steam room.

Officially Virgin Active doesn't give out free trials but if you book a 'tour' and ask nicely, they are sure to let you have a go solo.

P.s. Good luck to all the Virgin Active London Triathalon today, hope lot's of money is raised for charity. (remember to click on the adverts below and to the side of this blog to raise money for Water Aid.)

FREE GYM #7 - Fitness First - London Bridge Hotel

Bam, another 'platinum' Fitness First though still not quite sure how much 'value added' platinum status actually gives over the other non-platinum gyms. I mean, this gym looks the same, feels the same, damn it, it must be the same!

Voucher Cloud had given me a five day gym pass instead of the usual three day pass because I've got an old Orange (UK mobile network) sim card (primarily used for the odd Orange Wednesday 241 cinema ticket).

Unfortunately, this Voucher Cloud offer means NOTHING to the gym manager, who begrudgingly gave me a free two day pass instead.*

The gym is certainly centrally located, slotting in just between London Bridge Station and London Bridge Hotel in the shadow of the ever rising Shard [pictured] which, although unfinished, is already London's tallest building. I'm hoping they have incorporated a gym into their tenancy plans, but failing that, climbing up to what will be London's highest public viewing gallery, should be enough exercise for a long time!



*You can report the venue if a
Voucher Cloud offer isn't honoured.

FREE GYM #6 - Fitness First - Angel

If you have a mate who has a 'golden fob', this person may take you into any Fitness First of fancy, without limits, so long as it's on the weekend. This, of course, is there to be taken advantage of.

As usual with Fitness Firsts, the Angel branch looks tatty from the outside, but is shiny and squeaky and clean on the inside. It is the proud owner of 'Platinum' status...which I guess is better than 'non-Platinum' status. As far as I can see, the only 'Platinum' benefit is a complementary towel when you walk in. Can someone help me out here?!

Motivation wise - I would always recommend going with a mate. Competition and bravado does come in useful when getting fit. Unfortunately, I'm not the competitive type and had to be verbally abused and ridiculed before I would try that 4th set of dumbbell squats...but I did it :)

Fitness First - Day 3 - Walworth

This time, I breezed through reception, allowing me to concentrate on the positive sides of Fitness First Walworth.

There is a certain charm about Fitness First gyms. Most of the clientele are ordinary people. One guy came to use the weight machines in a polo shirt and brogues, completely at odds with the flashy nylon and expensive trainers found in most gyms. The rest area contains free newspapers, free coffee and the option to rent a dvd for the night, for free!

The step machine [pictured] amused me greatly. You may pretend to climb the wrong way up a never ending escalator without pissing off London tube commuters coming the opposite way.

FREE GYM #5 - Fitness First 'Fortress' - Walworth

Very exciting to hear that Voucher Cloud is now on android. This nifty little mobile app lets you know about deals wherever you happen to be, allowing me to find my latest three day pass for Fitness First - Walworth.

Despite calling in (in person) three days in advance to book an 8am appointment with a sales person to show me around, not only was he not there when I turned up, but there wasn't even a record of my appointment! I was told to come back later when a sales person was around. Needless to say, after alluding to 'poor customer service', requesting to see the manager, jabbing a finger at a sign saying 'A Warm Welcome to Fitness First London' and a huffy 'you are really wasting my time', I was apologetically ushered through the turnstile and wished a 'good workout'.

It seems that I might have expended more energy trying to get into the gym, than while actually in it....

More on the 'Walworth Fitness First Fortress' next time.

Gym Irony #1

Isn't it ironic, that one goes to the gym to get stronger, yet comes out of the gym weaker? Being finding it painful to walk lately...

FREE GYM #4 - Bankside Health Club - London Bridge

Smugly snuggled in to the underbelly of the giant Blue Fin building, it is obvious that this is no ordinary gym. No, this is a 'health club' with beauty treatments, a boxing ring AND gym.

As I entered, row upon row of sparkling machinery appeared before me. To give you a taster, the running machines didn't just have television screens on the wall in front of them, they had television screens fixed to them. As cool as this might first seem, it is slightly unnerving to be so close to the television and running eye to eye, for instance, with a BBC news reporter. Even the rowing machine had its own TV.

If you want to pay lots of money to watch TV while you exercise - this gym is for you.

Bankside Health Club - download your one day free pass here.

FREE GYM #3 - LA Fitness - Day Three - Aloha means goodbye

Despite being told on the first trial day that I couldn't use the swimming pool because of "chemical problems", I thought I would brave it considering it was my last day. Plunging into a deserted pool for a few lengths, was definately the best way to cool down (and wake up) before work in the morning.

As the picture shows, I was lucky enough to stumble upon 'Hawaii Week' where LA Fitness staff attempt to perk up the atmosphere by wearing wreathes of flowers and puting up signs at the front door exclaiming; 'ALOHA' to cleverly create the illusion that you are entering a hot, sunny island state, instead of a cramped, windowless basement gym.

In Hawaiian, Aloha means both hello and goodbye. For me, and this particular LA Fitness, Aloha definately means goodbye. ALOHA!

FREE GYM #3 - LA Fitness - Wardorf

FREE three day pass and FREE towel :)

Housed in the Hilton, this gym is deceptively grand. The ornate entrance and images of the pillared pool area promise a gym fit for a Bond character. What actually brings to mind is mutton dressed as lamb. The bright lights, plastic coverings and colourful motivational images fail to distract from the tired equipment and cramped interior.

Although I haven't yet asked about membership prices at LA fitness, I can tell you, exclusively, that the diner above the male changing rooms (the Good Godfrey) wafts down a faint aroma of bacon as you shower. Mmmm, parfum de breafast buffet.

The weight of cost

For some, the act of paying for a gym makes them more likely to go. Although the cost of a membership remains the same, they know that the value of a gym membership decreases or increases depending on how often they use it. Yet gyms make millions each year from phantom members who resolutely sign a contract in January and disappear by February, prefering to forget that it is now their wallet that's losing the weight.

Is this member you?

FREE GYM #2 - Soho Gym - Waterloo

Cool, fresh and well provisioned are all adjectives I'd like to use when describing my fridge. Unfortunately, this is not the case. However, the description is very apt for Soho Gym - Waterloo, quirkily set under the brick arches of Waterloo East Railway Station, allowing you the novelty of working out while trains rumble overhead.

SOHO very kindly gave me a THREE DAY PASS...and a FREE towel on top. Check out the raised mezzanine area where you can leisurely stretch while looking down on the suited and booted as they rush their way to work.

I'll be back tomorrow.

GYM #1 - Fitness First (High Road - Tottenham)

Three years ago, I tell you, was the last time I had set foot in a gym. Despite paying the relatively cheap price of £100 for the pleasure of an annual University of Leeds gym membership, I only went twice making my average gym session a hefty £50 a pop. So now, as you can see, I need to re-coup my costs.

Free Gym Session #1 - The ubiquitous Fitness First in Tottenham, nearest train - Bruce Grove.
Conditions: Free day quest pass when accompanied by a member.

Convincing a mate, and self confessed gym fanatic, to take me along to his local gym proved to be a double edged sword. On one hand, he showed me the ropes (things like wiping sweat off equipment after use), but on the other, methodically and cruelly burning me out to the point of embarrasment. After a full (he says half) upper body workout, I couldn't even raise my water bottle without trembling hand movements.

At first, I had reservations about what seems at first to be yet another faceless Fitness First chain gym. But this one had a pleasant community feel. An old lady was sitting in the rest area, knitting to the beat while people chatted about trainers in the weights room.

Facilities are good, well ventilated, natural light, friendly staff, a sauna, powerful showers and free blackcurrant juice. What more could you want?

A pleasant return to the world of gym...and the start of something special. No expensive membership fees and no financial guilt about not attending the gym - just 100% Fitness First freeness!