FREE GYM #18 - Gymbox - Covent Garden

Gymbox Covent Gardens is a sexy mix of cinema (imagine, giant glowing billboard, beckoning you in), Hollister (only extremely attractive model type people need apply as staff) and nightclub (there’s actually a DJ on at peak times between 6 and 8 blasting out the grooves from his booth above the treadmills – true story).

www.gymbox.co.uk

Don’t be fooled by the playful exterior (signs guarding the entrance to the sauna warn “No Chemicals, No Unsightly Towels, No Inflatable Dolphins”), or the PR (see image) this gym means serious business with row after row of gleaming gym and boxing equipment.

After striding purposely through a forest of punch bags, I strutted my way into the boxing ring dominating the main studio as the DJ, on cue, started to play ‘Can’t touch this’.  I felt good, professional even, until I realised I'd walked into ‘advanced Mai Thai’ class.

Sensing my fear, no one in the class volunteered to partner with me so a stocky girl was forced to spar with me by the instructor. She made me pay for this by beating the beshizzle out of me with ten sharp kicks to the left rib cage. As I winced in the most manly ways I know possible, she smiled a smile that said ‘You couldn't  bust a grape in a fruit fight’ and kicked me ten times more on the right rib cage. Thoroughly rattled, it was my turn. My revenge opportunity was short lived as the instructor, unimpressed with my weakling punches and kicks banished me out of the ring to train on my own. After ten minutes of one to one training, I was invited back in to show off my new found moves.

Everyone had gloves except for me. “Can I spar without gloves?” I asked timidly to the stocky girl. “No” she puffed in disgust, looking down at my gloveless hands as if I were naked at a children’s party. Told that I might find some gloves in one of the ringside lockers, I spied, deep in the darkest of corners, a smelly, damp pair of reject gloves, which squelched with sweat as I eased my hands in. Left hook, squelch, right jab squelch, upper cut squelch – great fun.

I came away from Gymbox with new skills - I now know Mai Thai is a lethal kicking and punching martial art - not a harmless cocktail; that one mustn’t bring dolphins into saunas; and damn it, it feels good to have your own DJ than a pair of tinny earphones.

                                                                             

If you like cinema, nightclubs, beating punch bags while pretending they’re people you hate and becoming buff like those topless models at Hollister  (and come on, who doesn’t) Gymbox is the gym for you!

Gymbox is currently offering free taster classes in any of its five London locations.

FREE GYM #17 - train like a soldier - snow joke you know

To be honest, due to the icy, snow covered park, I was half expecting ‘British Military Fitness’ at Peckham Rye Park to be called off.

Of course not, training goes on in all seasons, whatever the weather, three times a week like clockwork – that’s the military way. After a friendly greeting from the 30 trainees (or 'BMFiers'), Tom, a Territorial Army recruit trainer by day, fitness instructor by night, sorted us into basic, intermediate and advanced groups, and sent us on our way, puffing frostily into the air and stomping (sometimes ankle deep) through the snow.

Our obstacle course consisted of trees, hidden snow drifts and the odd snowman while the instructors, donned in camouflage, directed us through the rough terrain with a serious cardio programme of lunges, squats, burpies and sprint runs. For motivation, we were jokingly told to keep moving to ward off frostbite and hypothermia, but there was no chance of that, after a few runs we had all built up a healthy sweat, despite the zero degree temperatures.

Half way through the session my group suddenly found ourselves under fire from a flurry of snowballs. Yes, the intermediate and beginner group were at war and I became the first casualty, caught off guard by a small lady, gleefully launching a direct hit at my head.

Definitely a class I would pay for – as I much prefer exercising outside socially rather than alone in a tiny sweaty gym. Try it out- there’s no joiningfee this January, they're in parks all over London and they’re offering a full week free (use code: 'MSEJAN') - for those who dare brave the January cold. 

Plus - you can’t have a snow fight in a gym, so try it soon, even if it’s just for that.

FREE GYM #16 - Fitness First - Frying Pan Alley

This gym gets brownie points purely for being on 'Frying Pan Alley'. I'm sure there were many a guffaw at Fitness First HQ as they planned their new location. How funny would it be to make people think of fatty fry-ups while they worked out. 

This Fitness First feels brand spanking new, and slap bang in the middle of trendy Spitalfields, just off Petticoat Market.

After fighting my way through the cold, treacle like flow of January Spitalfield crowds, I was welcomed by the warm, spacious Fitness First interior, every wall festooned with full length mirrors helpfully placed for the vane to gaze at themselves while working out.

As I left the building, the receptionist serenely called out 'hope you had a good work out'. Well, I did thank you. Now where's that fry up...

Out of the frying pan - into the fire

FREE GYM #15 - Camberwell Leisure Centre

CELEBRATION OF 100 DAYS UNTIL THE OLYMPICS!! (or 114 days until it's over depending on how you look at it). This means free gym in Camberwell Leisure Centre (and all 'Fusion Gyms') for the whole weekend with games, prizes and freebies including a curious partnership with Nando's where one of their representatives stood in the foyer handing out discount cards and asking people; "Do you like CHICKEN?". Marketing gold - the perfect place to be promoting posh fast food to the hungry, fat and health conscious.

The gym was surprisingly empty - leaving all the more non-sweaty equipment for me! I liked the running machines which gave me a visual of how far round a countryside track I was in terms of km. I was quite proud after reaching 2km, until I remembered the hundreds of people struggling through today's London Marathon as I jogged slowly in an empty, nicely air conditioned weather proof gym.

It started peeing down before I decided to leave so I sought refuge in the gym's quaint cafe; settling down on a comfy leather sofa to hot chocolate and Sunday papers. I was the only customer all afternoon so I hope it stays in business - though if it doesn't work out, I'm sure Nando's would love  to move in.

FREE GYM #14 - The Tallest Hotel - The Smallest Gym

"We are Bristol's tallest hotel" proclaims the Radisson Hotel TV as you enter your room. Alas, their tiny gym can't boast the same credentials - packing equipment into a low ceiling box room.

Thoughtful extras include a bowl of fresh apples, a rack of over 50 white towels (you couldn't get more than 10 people in this room)...and an emergency phone (just in case you suffer from claustrophobia I suppose).

Despite the small proportions of this particular hotel gym - I would always recommend bringing your kit when out on business. Corporate hotels such as the Marriott are making a concerted effort to diversify their 'leisure' offer with the creation of connected (very swish) health clubs- which of course, are available to all paying guests!

FREE GYM #13 - Southbank Club - but not on 'The South Bank'

I know the South Bank. It boasts iconic structures such as Oxo Tower and the London Eye and is home to treasured cultural institutions such as The Southbank Centre, The Royal Festival Hall, BFI and The National Theatre.

Which left me rather perplexed when I came across 'The Southbank Club', impetuously impersonating London's cultural riverside hub while lurking by 9 Elms Market, in deepest darkest Vauxhall. 

Titular technicalities aside, I did enjoy the club, which seems to run a regular friendly squash league whilst boasting one of the biggest, most spacious warehouse gyms I have ever seen. It also makes use of three gigantic projector screens - very cinematic (bringing popcorn is not encouraged).

If you do decide to visit, they can be found on Wandsworth Road and were offering a free day pass to entice new members in February. Although this offer has expired - the extremely chirpy staff will be happy to give you a 'South Bank' tour...not quite a tourist favourite, but definitely worth a visit.

Google takes away CHARITY MONEY!

I hate it when blogs are neglected (last post was October 2011) but I was a little disheartened when GOOGLE TOOK BACK ALMOST £50 BUILT UP THROUGH HARD EARNED ADVERT CLICKS DESTINED FOR WATERAID. In Google's defense, their terms and conditions does state that one must not ask people to click on adverts (which I did) - but it was for charity...come on...it's like an unbelievably fat and rich man taking fresh milk from a thirsty, malnourished, disease prone baby.

Apparently complaining to Google about this kind of thing is like shouting at a blind, deaf and dumb dictator asking; 'could you possibly be as kind to give back that money you mistakenly took from your starving people?' Not even an answer, it's already in a large, black html hole and it's not coming back.

However, all is not lost! You can now donate directly to Water Aid through the Just Giving page to the left. It's easy peasy and will make a big difference.

Thank you.

P.s. a special message to Google: